Dear Regina, Hi, I'm writing again because I also wanted to say that 1 John 4:8 tells us that 'God is love' and so he doesn't cause sad things to happen to our loved ones, as James 1:13 helps us to understand, ‘When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.’ For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone.’” And so when a tragic 'unforeseen occurrence'- (Eccl. 9:11b) befalls a loved one; it's not Jehovah God doing causing that to happen to them. I hope that you will find some comfort in the article I told you about because that also mentions that keeping a journal like you're doing can help. And it tells other things that have helped others cope. I truly care. Take care, Sincerely, Cindy Boyer