I'm not sure what I expected, but its like yesterday that I lost her. After a year and a half should I be moving on? I can't let her go. She's never really left. She never will. I woke up today, and hit a huge brick wall of sadness. As my mom used to say, "I fell all to pieces." On one hand I felt like I turned a corner on this journey of grief, I thought I was getting it under control. At the end of the first year with all the holidays behind us, all the firsts, I still felt terrible and wondered how people could say that it only takes a year to get over a death. Those people have never lost their daughter. With prayer and effort, I felt like I had moved to higher ground. Had a firmer footing underneath me. I forced myself to break away from the tendency to isolate myself. Being alone for a long time can lead to all sorts of dark places I found. Sometimes people are the means of healing that God employs to help us feel better. But not today....