17 August 2011 Difficult start today. I felt angry this morning. Wasn’t sure I could make it in to work. But I did, and it proved to be good therapy. I keep going over and over why this happened to Roxanne. Not just her death, but rather to her life? Why was her journey so difficult and painful? What was missing to cause such restlessness? And why was no one able to affect her, reach her, inspire her to make the right choices? I never thought of myself as a role model mother. I was a child raising my children, trying to find my way. And yes, my life was consumed by work to keep us financially solvent. If I had no family support, or if I was alone in this journey, it might explain some things. But when they say “It takes a village” it surely did in Roxanne’s case. She was constantly around loving grandparents, and an aunt and uncle that adored her. They were wonderful role models during her young formative years and hugely instrumental in the raising of both Kim & Roxanne. I never felt alone, our home was not broken. Her life was filled with the love and support of family and good friends, always. Then why? If all the childhood experts preach that it’s the early childhood nurturing & experiences that form us…give us the tools to grow, mature, and make good life choices for ourselves, then what happened to Roxanne, and why? The unanswered questions haunt me….